


here for you

by ninetynineclouds (foggydays)



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Drabble, M/M, a little angsty, chanhee!centric, just a little really, non!au, platonic!sf9, yeah this is all platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 12:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11600427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggydays/pseuds/ninetynineclouds
Summary: chanhee's having a hard time and doesn't want to worry the members, but sometimes things get a little too much for a seventeen year old boy to handle.





	here for you

**Author's Note:**

> me: you have a shit ton of assignments due soon mi dude you gotta focus  
> inner me: write another sf9 fic
> 
> anyway, i never planned to write again anytime soon because i'm actually really stressed out with my workload but every damn time i get stressed, the feels to write hits me. also, this was written at 2am (ah, don't you love it when inspo hits you when you're about to sleep?) and it isn't beta-read.
> 
> so..here it is. a really short drabble for you. a little angsty because i'm currently an angsty college kid.

The thing about Chanhee is that he rarely expresses his true thoughts and feelings. Rarely does he ever open up about having a hard time; he doesn’t like showing the vulnerable side of him – doesn’t like crying and asking for help. It’s not because he has issues trusting people or anything, it’s just that he doesn’t want to add on to the burden that have already settled above the older members’ shoulders. He knows that the other eight members are having a hard time and they each have their own internal battles to fight. The last thing Chanhee wants is to be a burden.

Being a seventeen year old boy who had just debuted in an idol group is tough, Chanhee admits. Not only does he have many schedules to attend and work on a new comeback at the same time, but the boy has to fulfil his duty as a student as well. It’s tough on both the mind and body and sometimes Chanhee has days that feel like he’ll never be able to get through. But this is what he signed up for, and he already knew that even after debuting, the hardships will still continue. He shouldn’t give up so soon he thinks, because he’s trained so hard for this. All the sweat that had soaked his clothes from repeating the choreography again and again, to the point where even his limbs had slowly gotten harder to lift and all the tears that were shed out of frustration and due to the doubts of being able to debut – all those things were for him to get to where he is now. A seventeen year old Kang Chanhee in an idol boy group called SF9.

Chanhee found his dream early and his dream made him sacrifice a fair share of things; a ‘normal’ teenage life, freedom, sleep and... more. But then again, Chanhee knows that this is what all of them had to sacrifice, and though things get tough especially when he's homesick, he’s glad he has the company of the older members. Even though they may pester Chanhee and annoy him a little, he knows that at least he has them for comfort – even without expressing his emotions, even without them having _the_  talk, because their company is comfort in itself. And he knows that the reason why they pester him so much is because they love him (still, Chanhee would appreciate it if they didn’t shower him with millions of kisses every day).

But somehow, even though he knows all these things and wants to put up a strong front so that the members don’t worry about him, tears start clouding his vision in the middle of practicing their choreography for the next comeback. He doesn’t understand why he’s suddenly about to have a break down; because it’s not like the members had yelled at him earlier, or that he had a bad day in school. The tears that clouded his vision suddenly start rolling down his cheeks and moments after, he starts to sob. It becomes harder for him to breathe and he’s beginning to shake –

“Chanhee. Chanhee, what’s wrong? Hey – _Hyung_ , stop the music.

The boy feels a warm hand squeeze his shoulder and he starts to sob even harder. He frantically wipes his tears and the panic starts to seep in when he realises that the tears aren’t stopping. His cheeks are becoming warm because he’s also starting to get embarrassed for breaking down out of nowhere – fuck, he’s a mess, he thinks.

Someone gently pries his hands off his face and Chanhee keeps his eyes shut, refusing to look at the person before him. He can feel so many pairs of eyes staring at him and he’s getting more embarrassed, but the tears still don’t stop even when he desperately wants them to. He then feels sweaty palms cradling his face (at this point, sweaty palms are the last thing that he's bothered by although he usually hates it when they touch his face with sweaty palms) and then, “Chanhee-yah, look at me.”

He knows who the voice belongs to and it isn’t the same person who told them to stop the music. It’s the leader this time – of course it is. Chanhee opens his eyes. Because it’s Youngbin.

The younger boy has to blink a few times before he can finally focus on the older male before him. Youngbin is looking at him with concern eyes and furrowed eyebrows. It's making Chanhee feel so bad. He never wanted them to worry. “Tell _hyung_ what’s wrong.”

It’s really not helping that Youngbin is asking him in such a soft and gentle voice because while he feels bad about worrying the members, the question makes him whimper and it's only making the tears continuously flow. Chanhee can’t seem to open his mouth and tell him what’s wrong either, because he feels choked up and there’s a lump in his throat that makes it harder for him to say anything. As of now, he can only give whimpers and hitched breaths as responses. Someone is rubbing his back in an attempt to soothe him as Youngbin wipes the tears off his face – Chanhee begins to slowly calm down.

When Youngbin sees that Chanhee is about to stop sobbing, he tells the younger to go and wash his face. He nods and turns to head to the bathroom outside the practice room, and the leader follows behind him. The cold tap water that splashes his face manages to clear his head and soothe him. Youngbin asks, “Better?” when Chanhees shuts the tap.

Chanhee takes a deep breath. “Yeah.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I—“ Chanhee pauses, trying to gather his thoughts and pick his words carefully. He ends up sighing because he’s unable to find the right things to say – Youngbin would know if he’s lying anyway. “Just. Y’know.”

“You can tell me. There’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s just me.”

“I know. But I don’t know what to say right now.”

Silence ensues for a few heartbeats (Chanhee finds it so loud at this moment, and it also felt like years) before Youngbin licks his lips and says, “Okay. But just tell _hyung_ if you’re having a hard time. I don’t want you to suffer alone. If you don’t want to tell me, you can always tell Youngkyun since he’s your best friend and you might be more comfortable telling him. We always got your back, Chanhee-yah.”

Chanhee feels the sudden urge to have another breakdown because of the words Youngbin had uttered. But he takes another deep breath to calm himself and looks at the floor instead of the older male, afraid that if he continues to look at Youngbin, the tears will come again. He softly says, “I just don’t want to be a burden to all of you.”

Youngbin takes a step closer towards him and brings his hands up to hold Chanhee’s shoulders. The older male tells Chanhee to look at him.

“Well, I want you to know that you’ll never be a burden to us. We’re always here for you whenever you need us, okay? The _hyungs_ cherish you so much; we don’t want you to suffer all alone. We’ll try our best to help you. You’re our precious Chanhee.”

“ _Hyung_ ,” Chanhee whines. “Thank you but you're getting a little cheesy.”

Youngbin ruffles the boy’s locks which gets him another whine in response. “Brat.”

 

They decide to end practice when Chanhee returns to the practice room after getting permission from the manager. Sanghyuk immediately clings onto Chanhee the moment he enters, and peppers kisses all over his face.

“ _Hyung_ , get off me.”

“No, I’m going to make you feel better.”

“I’m going to start crying again if you don’t stop kissing me.”

The older male pauses before leaning in to give him one final peck on his cheek and wanders off with a grin on his face. The other members gather around him to ask if he’s okay and tell him that if he is having a hard time, he can always come to them. Chanhee feels really grateful but at the same time embarrassed because he’s getting all the attention. It’s beginning to make him feel awkward too, and thankfully Youngbin could tell, so he makes them pack up their things.

Youngkyun lingers for a while when the others disperse to pack their stuff. He pats Chanhee’s back and asks, “You good, buddy?”

“Yeah.”

Youngkyun stares at him for a few seconds before nodding and walks off. They don’t need to say much around each other at times like this – they understand. Best friends are like that.

 

Tonight, Kang Chanhee heads back to the dorm with the other members with a lighter heart.

 

**Author's Note:**

> ain't my best work, but oh well. thank you sm for reading!!  
> hmu on twitter if you wanna! (@sf9ne)  
> i'm currently on a short semi(?) hiatus but still, go ahead and hmu :)


End file.
